Category Archives: College Life

Continental Drift

Hey there.
So, needless to say, it’s been a long, long time since I’ve posted anything. To update in as few words as possible, I spent the summer between my Junior and Senior years of undergrad taking a biochemistry class and struggling finding a good guy. As per every good story’s start, I thought I found one, and then I had the rug ripped out from under me haha. No hard feelings whatsoever though, it took me maybe half a day to get over him and realize I liked him because I wanted to like someone. Shortly afterward I met a guy from Scotland, and we only knew each other for a few days, but he really opened my eyes to the fact that it’s almost innate when you like a person, and they like you back… He and I are still in almost constant contact, even being half a world away, and while I’m nearly positive nothing else will happen between us, he marked an important time in my life in terms of men. It’ll be right when it’s right, and I’ll just know, no questions, doubt in the equation at all.

Back in school for the fall now, and things are changing even more. As I have Fly by Ludovico Einaudi playing on my iTunes, I’m thinking through some things… I have this rare feeling that things are changing. Much like Continental Drift, I can’t see it happening but I know it’s there.

I feel like things are falling into their right places after all this time of being a frustrated teenager with slightly troubled past (parents, divorce, only child, the normal…) School is almost over and I’m feeling happy, despite the coming hardships with classes this term.

I was just accepted to go on a study abroad this winter from December 16th – January 9th to New Zealand! My grades always have made me worry, and this has seriously boosted my confidence not to mention made me the happiest girl in the world. I’m so grateful for everything.

 

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I really need to get some physics homework done, but I promise I’ll be back soon.

xx

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Proud to Be A Woman… Right?

So, I was just over at a friend’s place taking a study break. He’s really quite attractive, and I had this realization that, Yes, I am attracted to him (I already knew that though), but I also get the biggest kick out of even just knowing I can seduce a guy. Don’t even need to actually go through with anything, but the knowledge that I hold that power in my hands is enough to put a little extra swing in my step.

So my question to the interwebs is, obviously while we women like to have power in some form, why is it that holding that particular power is so appealing? Because we know it’s the threshold to getting what we want (potentially)? Or is it less then that, just a more primal need to control who you’re with and knowing you can get who you want?

This guy friend and I are weirdly close, we have this relationship that isn’t anything like one I’ve had with a guy before. We are just friends but we’ve got this really open dialogue and everything else in between. In a healthy way, not a dirty one – jeez people, minds out of the gutter. But we also both know we’d never date each other. And yet, know when I walk into a room he’s looking at me. Such a surge of power. *cue my egomaniacal laugh* I should explain that I have a bit of self-esteem issues, so is this my way of re-compensating what I feel like I’m lacking?

Well, either way. He’s attractive and confusing but he’s a good guy, so I’m proud to say he’s my friend, no matter how confusing things may get with us.

xx

 

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What Higher Education Does to Us:

This is by no means a post slamming college education, I’m in the middle of mine and A. loving it, and B. really quite excited to be here in general. But, there are some things I see people do, or hear stories of from my friends, that makes me want to stereotype them all. Not in a bad way, but in a funny way. Sorry, there’s no other way to put that.

1. The Professor with No Degree – This guy is honestly quite scary. Luckily, there’s only usually ever one of these guys in a lecture hall at a time, but that’s all the professor or the rest of us students can take. He sits up perfectly straight, answers every single question that the professor asks, even if it’s “Oh, where did I set my whiteboard marker?” If he doesn’t yell it out, it’s because he’s creepily whispering the answer under his breath. This particular character sounds like something from a bad 80’s high school movie, but I swear they’re out there. For example, freshman year, my friends had a kid in their chemistry class that would have arguments with the professor in class (and always be wrong). He also happened to be obsessed with the American TV show NCIS… So that was his new secret nickname. By the end of the year my friends were grumbling how “if NCIS says one more thing in class today, I WILL throw my calculator at his head!”)

2. The Jitterbug – This girl ends up getting glares from the whole class by then end of the lecture. She needs something else every single moment of class. First she comes in late, has to take out her papers, and pen and cell phone, and laptop. You think after a few minutes she’s done rustling. Nope. No such luck, now she needs gum, and has to rustle around for that for another three minutes, and in her frenzy to find gum she drops a very loud notebook off her desk. This girl is usually done removing and finding her life in her oversized tote bag about 5 minutes before class is over.

3. The Prom Queen – There’s generally not too much wrong with this girl, but none the less she disgusts me. On an average day, she flounces into class just on time in black leggings, Ugg boots, and a Northface jacket with some generic white v-neck tee shirt underneath carrying her sorority’s customized greek letter tote bag… wearing way too much makeup. Dark makeup, in the middle of the day. She then spends the whole class texting her ‘friends’ with wayyyyy tooo many vowellsss in herr wordss. In her defense, most of the time she’s really a nice person. I just need to get her to agree to let me give her a makeover, that’s all.

4. The Reader – This one I’ll never understand. I honestly saw her more in high school than now in college but, this girl comes to class and honestly looks like she’s ready to learn. She comes on time, sets out all her various materials and then…. cracks open a book? Not even a school book, a fun reading book that, in most cases, I’d like to get my paws on as well. But you’re in class! You cannot multitask that way my dear, I’m very sorry. In the case of college, why come to class when you’re going to read anyhow?! This girl only bothers me because I love to read, and on a given day if I had a choice that’s what I’d be doing. She makes me jealous and re-think my priorities basically haha.

5. The Sleeper – More often than not, an average guy that likes video games way too much. The new COD (Call of Duty) came out so how is he not supposed to play it? He can be seen slowly falling asleep throughout class, though occasionally waking up to glance around the room, as if afraid he teleported somehow in his sleep. I actually witnessed one of these guys today! He woke up just in time to answer the questions each student gets points for. In his defense, he was cute, I like video games (a lot), and he held open the door for me on the way in and the way out of the hall.

xx

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So I’m a Failure, Did You Know?

I’ve been quite the slacker the past weeks, and I’m truly truly sorry. Let me explain: I found out I have mono this past Wednesday and have been attempting to sleep it off while starting classes (they started last week also). Since then, I’ve had a quiz and 3 homework assignments due. And on top of that I’ve been figuring out the application to graduate school and what classes I need to take in the next year to graduate on time. Ugh. It’s all boring, I’m very aware. But I figured I owe you an explanation.

To make up for my lack of presence I give you a few predictions for the coming year, and I’m giggling to myself already about a few of them… And a DIY from FujiFiles, it’s a bit old in the fashion and blogging world, but I’m in love. It’s a perfect iPad case/ purse-y type clutch for my insane multitasking. Later today, I’ll post my weekly shade of nail polish (this one is really brightening up my crappy winter mood), and then depending on how quickly my physics homework and animal science homework gets done tonight, I’ll post a new outfit post (welcome to the redundancy department of redundancy, sorry) either tonight or tomorrow.

xx

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[Enter Your New Obession] Welcome to the World of Leggings

Now I know leggings are sometimes the bitch of fashion; everyone makes fun of them at some point or another, but you know you own at least 3 pairs and love them, especially when no-ones looking. Am I right?

Well. This guy is an ingenious designer out of Australia (gotta love that country)! He’s been at it making creative leggings (and now dresses and skirts as well) for a few years, and finally starting to get a decent amount of recognition. Fair warning, they’re not cheap, but the quality of the fabric, and the patterns are top quality.

Please welcome Black Milk Clothing: I personally have 3 pairs of leggings and a dress. One of my friends got into this designer, and in literally two months she bought 2 skirts, 4 pairs of leggings, and a dress. OBSESSION.

The Clouds Dress – I own this one 🙂 The dress and skirt fabric is the same as the legging fabric, so let me tell you, it sucks in all the right places and just looks amazing overall! My one complaint is it tends to ride up (I’ve heard this can be solved with a cotton/jersey slip-type dress underneath).

Shattered Glass Grapes Leggings – They have these in a few colors, but the bright purple makes me happy; just the boost you need in the winter.

Ribs Black Swimsuit: Did I forget to mention they make swimsuits too? Welll, great news!  They do. People also wear these as body suits, with a skirt or jeans etc etc. I believe Ke$ha wore this exact one in a photoshoot actually…

Galaxy Green Leggings: I have these, LOVE them. The first time I wore them out, a drunk girl yelled after me saying “You’ve got a great ass! I love those! I want to touch your butt and I’m not even lesbian!!!” Her guy (friend? boyfriend?) holding her up says “Yeah, I wanna touch it too!”More Fair Warning: You WILL get hit on/called funny nicknames/get asked where you got these when wearing this brand. Not that it’s a bad thing, just feel like you should know. (In case you’re wondering, I was called ‘Space Pants Girl’ one night I wore these out).

Now fly! Zip that mouse over, at least go check it out, there’s some amazing stuff! (And I promise I’m not getting paid for showing off/ talking about Black Milk’s clothes). I also probably won’t be able to post anything until the weekend since I’ll be in Iowa doing research. So have a good week!!

xx

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Christmas Cookies and Broken Hearts

You know how everyone loves those Christmas sugar cookies? But after the holidays there’s always that one little broken cookie in the jar that’s all alone? I was definitely that cookie today.

Let me rewind a bit for this all to make sense. I’m a junior in college. My dad told my mom and I (I’m an only child), that he had been cheating on my mom for 4 years when I was a junior in high school. It was terrible. I literally can’t put into words the anger and fury I felt towards him for years. Our relationship improved a bit after the divorce was finalized my freshman year of college, and has proved since. I still feel setbacks though.

Today I went to his house and made Christmas cookies and chocolates with his girlfriend, her sisters, and a cousin, as well as a sister and the cousin’s daughters, plus grandma. I’d met almost everyone before but there was something about this time that I felt myself breaking inside.

I’m still exhausted from finals, and they all seemed so close. I was included but it’s still so numbing being on the outside looking in. I had fun, I really did, but now that I’m home I just want to cry. I feel so alone. My mom isn’t here and of course my roommates are home with their families.

For some reason the holidays bring out the sadness in me. I’ve only ever had one serious boyfriend, which wasn’t that serious, but these are the days I want to curl up in a guy’s bed with him. Not do anything unmentionable (of course I wouldn’t say no to that either), just have someone next to me that I know has only me in mind. For once.

I have a tattoo that says ‘Alis volat propriis’ which means ‘she flies with her own wings’ in Latin. It means I can take care of myself and I don’t really need anyone else, that I’m strong enough on my own. But these are the moments I wish I did need someone else.

I’ll just pick myself up, and dust myself off again, slip on my tallest heels and keep walking like I don’t even remember I fell. Just like I always do. And please, I don’t need any pity nor do I want it, I just wanted to say this all to get it out of my system.

And I think I’ll read a book and nap now.
xx

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Endings and Beginnings

This is sort of odd to me, to just start something *snap* out of the blue. I think I need to though. There are a few things I’m not very good at in life, like trusting people, letting go of worries, and (like the title says) endings. It’s not that there’s something ending at the moment except for the fall term of college just ended for me (go MSU!), it’s just the term ending got me thinking: People are ever-changing creatures; in our looks, manner, style, everything. Why is it that when something big (or not so big) can turn us on our heads temporarily?

It may be bad to say but I think we’ve become creatures of habit. Not that we can’t roll with the punches if something doesn’t go our way, but I think that uproarious moments in life have an unsoothing effect of loss of control. I can’t speak for anyone else but myself, but since I had this lovely revelation (thank you finals), I’m going to try to be more relaxed about changes. I’m sure I’ll still worry that something can go wrong or I’ll do badly on a final, but I’d like to handle it more gracefully, not venting to my friends about things as much.

I said it in my ‘about me’ section; life is in the memories of the journey, not the destination. I don’t want to look back on my life and wonder why all I did was worry all the time. Teenagers are melodramatic, I get that, I’m perfectly alright with being melodramatic, but I promise from now on things aren’t going to effect my internal Richter scale so much.

That said, no more 9.0 earthquakes, only 4.0’s (Get it? Finals joke… It was bad I know).

And beginnings? There’s always something new around the corner, whether you see it or sense it coming or you simply don’t, and it’s a surprise. Everything has a beginning and an end, but I think it’s worth it to be as excited for both parts since something could stem from the ending of another thing… They always say that when a door closes, a window opens (or something like that).

xx

PS. To make up for my bad joke, here is Lana Del Rey’s new music video/single “Born to Die,” off her debut album which I believe will be released in America on January 31st. Happy Listening!

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