This is by no means a post slamming college education, I’m in the middle of mine and A. loving it, and B. really quite excited to be here in general. But, there are some things I see people do, or hear stories of from my friends, that makes me want to stereotype them all. Not in a bad way, but in a funny way. Sorry, there’s no other way to put that.
1. The Professor with No Degree – This guy is honestly quite scary. Luckily, there’s only usually ever one of these guys in a lecture hall at a time, but that’s all the professor or the rest of us students can take. He sits up perfectly straight, answers every single question that the professor asks, even if it’s “Oh, where did I set my whiteboard marker?” If he doesn’t yell it out, it’s because he’s creepily whispering the answer under his breath. This particular character sounds like something from a bad 80’s high school movie, but I swear they’re out there. For example, freshman year, my friends had a kid in their chemistry class that would have arguments with the professor in class (and always be wrong). He also happened to be obsessed with the American TV show NCIS… So that was his new secret nickname. By the end of the year my friends were grumbling how “if NCIS says one more thing in class today, I WILL throw my calculator at his head!”)
2. The Jitterbug – This girl ends up getting glares from the whole class by then end of the lecture. She needs something else every single moment of class. First she comes in late, has to take out her papers, and pen and cell phone, and laptop. You think after a few minutes she’s done rustling. Nope. No such luck, now she needs gum, and has to rustle around for that for another three minutes, and in her frenzy to find gum she drops a very loud notebook off her desk. This girl is usually done removing and finding her life in her oversized tote bag about 5 minutes before class is over.
3. The Prom Queen – There’s generally not too much wrong with this girl, but none the less she disgusts me. On an average day, she flounces into class just on time in black leggings, Ugg boots, and a Northface jacket with some generic white v-neck tee shirt underneath carrying her sorority’s customized greek letter tote bag… wearing way too much makeup. Dark makeup, in the middle of the day. She then spends the whole class texting her ‘friends’ with wayyyyy tooo many vowellsss in herr wordss. In her defense, most of the time she’s really a nice person. I just need to get her to agree to let me give her a makeover, that’s all.
4. The Reader – This one I’ll never understand. I honestly saw her more in high school than now in college but, this girl comes to class and honestly looks like she’s ready to learn. She comes on time, sets out all her various materials and then…. cracks open a book? Not even a school book, a fun reading book that, in most cases, I’d like to get my paws on as well. But you’re in class! You cannot multitask that way my dear, I’m very sorry. In the case of college, why come to class when you’re going to read anyhow?! This girl only bothers me because I love to read, and on a given day if I had a choice that’s what I’d be doing. She makes me jealous and re-think my priorities basically haha.
5. The Sleeper – More often than not, an average guy that likes video games way too much. The new COD (Call of Duty) came out so how is he not supposed to play it? He can be seen slowly falling asleep throughout class, though occasionally waking up to glance around the room, as if afraid he teleported somehow in his sleep. I actually witnessed one of these guys today! He woke up just in time to answer the questions each student gets points for. In his defense, he was cute, I like video games (a lot), and he held open the door for me on the way in and the way out of the hall.